


Thor Bonecrusher

by ladyroxanne21



Category: Dragons: Race to the Edge, How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Awkward First Times, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Plus he's a devious and selfish person, Snotlout is totally gaga for Thor, Thor Bonecrusher IS Fishlegs, When he's hypnotized, alter ego
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-18 16:02:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14216739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyroxanne21/pseuds/ladyroxanne21
Summary: When he's feeling unappreciated, Snotlout goes off to brood in a cave, only for Fishlegs to show up so that Meatlug can eat some rocks. Snotlout decides to hypnotize Fishlegs so that he can hang out with Thor Bonecrusher for a little bit, and things quickly get out of hand.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This short story has been brewing in the back of my mind for *years* - ever since the first appearance of Thor Bonecrusher in the series. But when he appeared the second time, I became a little obsessed with this story for a few days - only I didn't write it because I basically only write Drarry. That said, I just binge watched the sixth and final season of Dragons: Race to the Edge and decided that if I was ever going to write the story, now was the time, lol.  
> I hope you like it!

 

I've never been what you'd call a good guy. Sure, I fight with a team of people doing the 'right thing' but I do that for selfish reasons. Mainly, I want honor and glory for myself. I'm selfish and if it came right down to it, I'd probably sacrifice my friends to save myself. Except that I'm clearly better than all of them and they need me. Without me, they'd probably die. And saving them brings me glory.

And yet, despite saving them all on a regular basis, they tend to treat me like I'm annoying. Like they're better than me even though I'm always right. I think they're just jealous, because honestly, there's a lot to be jealous of.

In any case, because they're always getting mad and yelling at me for stupid reasons – just because I point out the flaws in their plans and they don't listen to me – well, I got upset. I felt seriously underappreciated, so I took off to be on my own for a while.

It's just my sort of luck, really, that I happened to choose a cave to mope in that Fishlegs arrived in a few minutes later without warning. His dragon Meatlug likes to eat rock, but I didn't realize that he brought her to this cave to eat. I tried to escape his notice, but he's actually a lot more observant than I care to admit.

“What are you doing here?” He asked with a concerned frown.

“I don't really want to talk about it,” I sneered at him.

He rolled his eyes and turned to watch his dragon eat.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to me. Right in front of me was the one person that actually _could_ make me feel better. He just needed to be brought forth. Twice before, I've met this person. This person that make my heart beat faster, and while I'm not exactly subtle about it, I doubt that my friends truly realize just exactly how I feel about him. They probably think I'm being stupid and annoying on purpose or something, but I'm not. When I look at that one person, I just can't help but swoon.

I pulled out a medallion and started swinging it back and forth. “Hey Fishlegs, look.”

“Huh?” He asked as he turned around. Exactly like before, the medallion barely swung three times before he fell into a sort of sleep trance.

“Awaken Thor Bonecrusher,” I commanded. “You shall be brave, charming, and charismatic, but rather than be concerned about being heroic, at the moment, you want nothing more than to cheer me up. You'll feel about me the way I feel about you, and you'll still love Meatlug, although you'll be happy to let her eat while you talk to me. Lastly, when I clap my hands three times, you'll return to being Fishlegs again. Got it?”

Fishlegs grunted rather menacingly, and I took that as a good sign. 

“Good, now wake up.”

Fishlegs, now Thor Bonecrusher, opened his eyes and blinked several times as he looked at me, tilting his head to the side in confusion. Then he smiled. “Snotlout. I'm happy to see you again. What's the matter?”

I sighed rather heavily. “It's just that none of my friends appreciate me. They think I'm rude and annoying. They think I only care about myself – and they're right about that part – but still, it hurts to be yelled at and ignored so often.”

He walked over to me. “ _I_ care about you,” he said as he took off my helmet and ran his hand through my hair.

I smiled at him. “You know what would make me happy right now? Doing something amazing and manly.”

“Alright,” he murmured in agreement before doing some impressive flips around the cave, crushing rocks with his bare hands, and juggling three large and heavy boulders. I laughed and cheered, clapping because I loved watching him show off. 

Suddenly he landed right in front of me, flipping his golden hair over his shoulder as his bright green eyes flashed mischievously. Then he picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder, carrying me away and I was so giddy from the manliness of his action that I didn't particularly care where he was taking me. Which turned out to be a sandy part of the cave where he apparently sits when waiting for Meatlug to finish eating because there was a thin blanket to sit on and a few books to read. He threw me on the blanket and pressed his body into mine as he...

Kissed me...

Until that moment, I didn't realize that that's what I wanted. But now... I want it  _so_ badly! I relaxed completely and returned his kisses. I have no idea if I was any good at it since I haven't exactly had a chance to practice on anyone. After quite a while, he shoved one of my hands under my back.

“You probably know this, but I don't really remember the person I actually am when I'm like this, but I _do_ remember both of the last times I was like this. Which means I remember that you can turn me back by clapping, and I don't want that to happen.”

“But... You can't stay like this forever,” I pointed out. I'm certain my friends would object and insist I turn him back at some point.

He shrugged. “No, not forever, but at least until I'm done.”

“Done?” I asked in confusion.

He's taller and wider than me, making him bigger than me. Even so, I didn't expect him to be so much stronger than me too. He grabbed my other hand and held it above my head with one hand, kissing me possessively as his other reached between us to unfasten my pants. Suddenly I understood.

“Um whoa! Wait!” I cried out in alarm.

“What's wrong? This is what you wanted, right? Why you freed Thor Bonecrusher from the prison of his real self.”

I pressed my lips together and looked away as I took a deep breath and thought this over. “Maybe it is. I just didn't realize it. I...”

Nodding in understanding, he finished removing both our pants, tossing them carelessly aside. His one hand was holding mine above my head again while his other was reaching down to locate my... I tried to struggle for the first time.

“Please just... don't hurt me,” I practically whispered because it was nearly killing me to be so vulnerable. I am a Viking and the prospect of pain shouldn't bother me. I shouldn't be afraid of it, but I am. If I've never really had a chance to practice kissing, _this_ wasn't even a possibility. And if it had been, I really thought it'd be the other way around, me _doing_ the penetration rather than being held down and...

I couldn't even think it! I squeezed my eyes shut so I couldn't see what was coming. To my surprise, his touch gentled and he started kissing me again.

“Thank you for pointing that out,” he murmured in my ear. His breath was hot and it made me shiver and swoon all over again. “I would never want to hurt my partner, I've just never had to think about it before. I've got some oil – it's smelly fish oil, but it should do the trick.”

I nodded in agreement. He grabbed the little jar of slippery oil out of his pocket and used it to coat his fingers so that he could use his fingers to spread the oil inside me. I opened my eyes and watched the look of deep concentration on his face. It made me feel better to know that he really was concerned about not hurting me. I gathered up the courage to kiss him as a reward. The feel of his fingers was weird, but he added oil until he had a good three fingers inside me – by the feel of it. And his fingers weren't exactly little. Like him, they were wide. I haven't gotten any sort of look at his shaft, and to be honest, I didn't really want to see how big it was before he shoved it inside me. I didn't want to have a visual of what was going to happen and start panicking about it. Especially since it was also very likely to be massive like the rest of him.

Somewhat abruptly, he must have decided that I had enough oil in me and that it was time to move on. He removed his fingers and shifted until he was pressed into me and oh my Thor! I was apparently right about how big it was. It felt like it was at least twice as big as my hole. I squeezed my eyes shut again and held my breath. To my relief, the amount of oil helped a lot. It wasn't entirely pain free, but it was a mild pain that I could handle. I started breathing again. He worked himself inside me slowly with a look of intense focus that made me smile and kiss him again.

And then I felt as full as I possibly could and knew that he was all the way inside me. It was strangely freeing to know that I had someone buried as deeply inside me as they could go and I liked it. I clenched and unclenched my muscles a few times experimentally, making him groan and his eyes cross.

“That feels so good!” He gasped, kissing me before making a lot of small thrusting movements which felt good. As he learned what he was doing, his thrusts got longer and smoother. They felt even better! And then suddenly, he hit something that felt like an explosion of pleasure started in my butt and went straight to my head, making me gasp in astonishment. Then he hit it again, and again, and again. I felt like I couldn't breathe – the pleasure was that intense. I ended up arching my back into him because I was trying to brace myself for what felt like it was going to be a devastating impact.

He groaned and kissed me again. “So tight...”

The hand that he had held above my head was now free since both of his hands were gripping my hips as he pounded into me. I only realized this because I grabbed onto his tunic and used it to help brace myself for that feeling that was coming ever closer. It was like a tingling fire that grew stronger and stronger until...

I think I was squealing. I'm not entirely sure, but there was a high pitched sound in the cave, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't coming from him since I could hear him grunting and groaning in my ear. The entire world felt like it was spinning before it went completely white and I felt like I was floating on an ocean of bliss. When I came back to myself, he was laying on top of me, feeling like he had just melted into a puddle of goo. We were both panting and I felt like I'd love nothing more than to take a nap.

But after only a few minutes, Meatlug came over and nudged him with her nose. “Hey there girl,” he greeted her. Rolling off me to pet her and give her a hug.

I stood up, my legs feeling shaky and my butt feeling rather sore. In silence, I got dressed, pretending to take a really long time because I wanted to have something to focus on so that I didn't have to talk to him. I had no idea what to say! He got dressed too, probably because it was actually a little cold in the cave, especially now that we had sweat drying on our bare skin. Once we were both dressed, I waved at him and started walking away.

“Thanks for cheering me up,” I said to him as I left. “Somehow you knew exactly what I wanted.”

“Anytime,” he promised with a soft smile.

Just after I was out of sight, I loudly clapped my hands three times.

“Oh hey girl! Done eating already? That's strange, how did I get all the way over here without noticing?”

Laughing under my breath, I left the cave and went back to my hut.

 

***

 

“Is something wrong?” Hiccup asked Fishlegs when he noticed the larger boy staring off into space – rather than at the books he was supposedly studying.

Fishlegs looked around and noticed that it was just him and Hiccup in his hut at the moment, but that was no guarantee of privacy. “Will you take a quick fly around the perimeter with me?”

“Do you think someone might attack?” Hiccup asked in concern as they walked over to their dragons and led them to the open area big enough for them to take off. After they mounted them and were in the air, Fishlegs looked around again to make sure they weren't being followed, and then sighed in relief that they were truly alone.

“I've been having some disturbing dreams,” he confessed.

“What sort of dreams?” Hiccup asked.

Fishlegs pressed his lips together and took a deep breath to gather up the courage to say it out loud. “Well, um... Every night for the last few weeks, I've had this dream in which Snotlout comes to my hut and we do things that I've never done with anyone for real. But when I wake up, I can't tell...” he turned completely red and looked away. “I mean the dreams are obviously  _those_ sort of dreams, and so there's evidence of the dream, and it makes me wonder if maybe it's really happening. They  _feel_ so real!”

“Whoa whoa wait!” Hiccup blurted out, holding up his hands and stuttering for a few seconds as he clearly tried to wrap his head around this news. “So you're saying that... you... _like_ Snotlout?”

Fishlegs frowned. “I... I don't think I do. At least, not like  _that_ , but... Why else would I be having the same dream every night?”

Hiccup bit his lip in thought. “Well, maybe...  _maybe_ you actually do...”

Fishlegs sighed in frustration. “But when I'm awake and I look at him, I don't feel like I want to do those sorts of things with him. I feel like he's a good friend. And  _shockingly_ , I'd trust him to have my back in a fight...”

Hiccup snorted a laugh. “That's probably the one thing he's good at.”

“Exactly,” Fishlegs said with a nod of agreement.

“Well,” Hiccup stated with a shrug. “As disturbing as those dreams are, I wouldn't worry too much about them being real. Snotlout wouldn't touch you like that if someone paid him to. He's been flirting with the Wingmaidens rather heavily lately, and I'm pretty sure that he's seeing one in secret because I see him sneak off at night sometimes.”

“Probably Minden,” Fishlegs agreed with a light nod, but strangely, rather than feel relieved, he felt disappointed.

Hiccup noticed this. “Are you... actually  _disappointed_ by this?”

Fishlegs shrugged helplessly, the gesture resembling a big W. “I guess I'm just so confused by the dreams. When I'm awake, I think about Heather and wonder if she'll ever come back for a visit, and if so, would she want to have dinner or something with me. But ever since the dreams began, I've thought about what it would be like to... have a girlfriend – or boyfriend, I suppose – and I realized that I  _do_ actually want that. I think we're the first generation of kids on Berk that haven't gotten married and had kids by our age. We're all nineteen or nearly so, and I'm sort of surprised that your father hasn't insisted that  _you_ at least get married to Astrid since you two are serious about each other. He needs to be sure before he dies that you'll be ready to take on the job of chief if he dies – and that includes having someone to take on the role if  _you_ die.”

Hiccup nodded. “I think he's just trying to make up for being sort of hard on me for most of my life. He's trying to let me figure things out on my own. You're right, five years ago, he would have had me married off the first chance he could so that I could have a child – hopefully a boy – that he could help raise in a manner  _he_ found fitting.” 

Fishlegs nodded in understanding. 

“And now that I know I'll always have Astrid at my side, I don't feel so rushed to marry her and change everything good we currently have going,” Hiccup added.

“So you're saying that I feel a bit desperate to have a relationship simply because I don't have one?” Fishlegs asked.

Hiccup shrugged. “Maybe.”

Fishlegs nodded, tilting his head side to side to admit that Hiccup had a valid point. “So it has nothing to do with Snotlout beyond... the fact that he's here and a better choice than either of the twins?”

“I'm pretty sure that everyone in the world is a better choice than either of the twins!” Hiccup agreed with a laugh.

Fishlegs laughed too. “Yeah, they're going to need someone who wants them both!”

“Exactly! Because they're _never_ going to live apart,” Hiccup added.

Fishlegs shrugged. “But even if they never do find a person or people to be with, at least they'll always have each other.”

“Honestly, I try really hard not to think about it,” Hiccup admitted.

Fishlegs tilted his head to the side and gave Hiccup a probing look. “Can I tell you something honestly?”

“Of course,” Hiccup stated, then winced and added. “Unless it's _any_ of the details of your dreams. Some things I just don't need in my head.

Fishlegs laughed. “Agreed! Actually, what I was going to say is that I am sort of surprised that you chose Astrid.”

“What?! WHY???”

“Hear me out,” Fishlegs said, holding up a hand to reassure Hiccup that he wasn't crazy. “You and Astrid have been the expected choice since you were both born. You're the Chief's son, and she's just about the only girl on Berk that is suitable to marry 'the Chief's son.' So, since you're usually against following tradition and what's expected of you, I really thought that you'd choose...” He tilted his head to the side and looked away a bit nervously. “Ruffnut. She's _not_ the obvious choice, but you are one of the few people that can understand her. You seem to understand both of the twins and allow them to be themselves as much as you can – choosing when to limit or redirect their behavior. And honestly, I always thought she made you laugh. So I thought you'd go against expectations again and choose her. I think even Tuffnut would be okay with that pairing.”

Hiccup bit his lip in thought again. “Well... I suppose I can see your reasoning, and maybe if I hadn't fallen in actual love with Astrid, you'd be right. I don't know because while I agree that I can understand her – a little, a very little – and she does make me laugh, I just don't think she'll ever make  _anyone_ a good wife.”

“There is that,” Fishlegs agreed.

“Which is why I'm happy that you seemed to hit it off with Heather. She's the only other girl our age we know! If not for her, you'd either have to marry Ruffnut, or never get married at all. Unless you sent for a bride from a neighboring village with a peace agreement with Berk,” Hiccup said.

“True,” Fishlegs murmured with a heavy sigh.

“Or married Snotlout – and OH! Wouldn't _that_ just _kill_ his father! There'd be no children to pass on their _proud name_!” Hiccup chuckled.

“Unless his brother had kids,” Fishlegs added with a shrug.

“Even so, I can't see Spitelout being too happy about Snotlout marrying you.”

“Thanks!” Fishlegs grumbled petulantly. 

“No! I meant a man in general,” Hiccup hastily assured him.

“Yeah, I know,” Fishlegs murmured, still sounding unhappy.

“Do you... Do you actually _want_ to marry him?” Hiccup asked.

Fishlegs exhaled a frustrated sigh. “How could I want that?! I have  _no idea_ what it'd be like to be in any sort of relationship with him! And even if we both went insane and tried it, it would never work out between us! He's too brash, reckless, and  _annoying_ and I'm too... geeky...”

Hiccup flew closer so that he could put a hand on Fishlegs shoulder. “Well, if it ever  _does_ happen, I'll be there for you as a best man or whatever you need. Just as I hope you'll be my best man if I ever get around to marrying Astrid.”

“Of course!” Fishlegs agreed with a pleased blush. Then he sighed again. “But you were right to begin with. Snotlout is always trying to get Astrid to want him, he nearly married Mala, and recently he's been flirting with the Wingmaidens, so... the chances of him wanting anyone like me are really low. I think I even saw him looking at Ruffnut with interest since she's the only single girl left.”

Hiccup gave Fishlegs a smile. “Look at the bright side, since we both  _know_ that Ruffnut will make a terrible wife, chances are that even if he did have any sort of relationship with her, it wouldn't last long.”

“That's true,” Fishlegs murmured.

Hiccup tilted his head in the direction of their huts. “Come on. It's late and I want to get some sleep before it's my turn to take watch.”

“Alright,” Fishlegs agreed, both of them heading back.

When Hiccup landed in front of his hut – Fishlegs going to his own – he found Astrid. Grinning, he gave her a hug. “To what do I owe the honor of your visit?”

She snorted a laugh and shook her head. “Oh nothing much, I just find it weird that almost every night I've had first watch, I've seen Snotlout go chat with Fishlegs in his hut. I didn't think they were such good friends.”

“Wait, what???” Hiccup blurted out in astonishment.

Astrid chuckled. “Yeah. He tries to be sneaky about it. He slips out of his hut, stays in the shadows and zigzags away from camp until he thinks no one could possibly be following him,  _and then_ he uses some really impressive stealth skills to practically disappear. If I hadn't given up and circled back to camp just in time to watch him knock on Fishlegs' door and go inside, I'd probably have never known where he went.”

“Whoa...” Hiccup exhaled in surprise. “Um, well... Fishlegs was just telling me about Snotlout visiting him unexpectedly. I just didn't think he was – I thought he was talking about a dream or something because Snotlout wanting to chat with Fishlegs just doesn't make sense.”

“Tell me about it!” Astrid exclaimed in agreement. “At first, I was concerned about them fighting, but Fishlegs never looks like he lost a fight, so they must really be talking. Maybe Fishlegs is teaching Snotlout more about dragons.”

Hiccup felt a bit guilty lying to his girlfriend, but he didn't think it was his news to tell. “Yeah, that must be it.”

With a smile, Astrid gave Hiccup a quick kiss. “Well, I'm on first watch, so I have to go patrol.”

Hiccup nodded in agreement. “Yeah, and I have to get some sleep before I'm woken up for my watch.” He kissed her again. “Be careful.”

“I always am,” she assured him.

When he was alone, Hiccup bit his lip in thought once more. “Hmm... When Fishlegs is Thor Bonecrusher, Snotlout practically swoons over him, so maybe there's something there after all...” Satisfied that things made a sort of sense, Hiccup went to bed.

 

***

 

“What is _wrong_ with you?!” The twins demanded suspiciously.

“What?!” I asked in annoyance.

“You've been in an unusually good mood lately,” Tuffnut stated, still clearly suspicious.

“So?” I asked with a look that made it clear he was being crazy again.

“So you're _never_ in a good mood!” Ruffnut added.

I laughed and shrugged. “The other day when you fell and me and Fishlegs fought over who got to save you, you said there was enough to go around, which means that I have a chance,” I lied. Well, maybe not. After all, she  _is_ the only available girl around. Maybe it would be a good thing to try having some sort of relationship with her. But that's not why I've been in such a good mood.

Ruffnut gave me an appraising look while her brother glared at me in disgust.

Fishlegs had overheard this exchange since it happened right in front of everyone. He shrugged. “I've decided that you can have her if you want. I'd rather wait for Heather to come back.”

Those words made my heart twist rather painfully, but I hid that, grinning at Ruffnut. “Hear that? I've no competition, thus you're mine.”

Ruffnut looked interested, but her brother made his head of the dragon twist around so that he was between us. “Not so fast! Any man who wants to be with my sister has to not only marry her, but he  _also_ has to prove that he's  _worthy_ of marrying her!”

I gave Tuffnut a look that made it clear he's an idiot. “Don't be stupid! I passed a test that proved I'm worth marrying a  _Queen_ . What makes you think I'd fail any sort of test to marry your sister?”

“Wait _marry_?!” Ruffnut blurted out in sudden apprehension. “Who said anything about marriage?!”

“Your brother,” I pointed out, enjoying the fact that she suddenly seemed to be panicking.

“There's no need to be thinking about marriage so soon!” She exclaimed.

“Aren't _you_ the one that said it was rare for members of your family to live until age nineteen? I'd think that with such short lives, you'd want to get married as soon as possible and make sure there's a next generation to carry on the family name,” I pointed out logically.

“That's true...” she murmured, biting her lip in thought, which made her look like smoke might pour out of her ears at any moment.

“Are you really ready for _marriage_?” Fishlegs asked incredulously.

I shrugged. “Who's ever truly ready? All I know is that I'm tired of being alone. Even marriage to someone like her is bound to be better than moving back in with my dad and brother – or living on my own – while still giving me companionship.”

“But...” Fishlegs faltered for a moment, frowning. “Her brother. You'd have to live with him too.”

“This much is true,” Tuffnut added with a sage nod.

I shrugged. “What's the difference between that and what we're doing now? We were  _all_ living together on Dragon's Edge. Once we get back to Berk, we'll have to live with our parents again, and I think I'd really rather not.”

“So... the _only_ reason you want to get married is so that you'll be able to live on your own with your wife and her brother?” Fishlegs wondered with a raised brow.

“Well, that and eventually having baby Jorgensons,” I added.

“Aww... A little baby Ruffnut!” Tuffnut purred, which was not so surprisingly creepy. “I'd make the best uncle ever!”

Astrid snorted in amusement. “You know, considering how you helped Ruffnut care for the baby Razorwhip, I'm not surprised by that.”

“Well, aside from the future baby Jorgensons, you don't actually need to get married to live on your own,” Fishlegs pointed out. “You could always live on your own with a roommate for companionship.”

“Plus Berk isn't exactly the biggest Island we've come across,” Hiccup added. “There's never going to be a time when you're truly alone, unless you're on your dragon hovering over the ocean just off the island.

“And while that may be true, it doesn't solve the problem of wanting baby Jorgensons,” I said, reasonably in my opinion.

“Is that something you actually want?” Fishlegs asked with a frown of confusion.

“Yeah, I guess I do,” I said with a shrug.

“I see...” Fishlegs murmured.

Astrid harrumphed. “So is that the answer to the question? You've been unusually cheerful lately because you've decided that you want to marry Ruffnut?”

“I suppose it is,” I replied. However, this time, I was definitely lying. The real reason I've been so happy lately – not that I thought for a moment anyone would notice – was that I've been spending all my nights with my lover. Sadly, now that we were all moving back to Berk, that just wouldn't be possible anymore. He'll be living with his parents, and I won't have the opportunity to spend the night with him anymore.

But I'm not too disappointed. It's not like I was  _ever_ going to be allowed to be with him. Plus, he doesn't actually exist – being a part created by and buried way down deep inside Fishlegs. As for first relationships, it was a good experience and something I'll always be able to look back on fondly. Besides, I wasn't lying when I said I want to get married. Now that I know how enjoyable sex is, I really do want to work on those baby Jorgensons every chance I get.

Hiccup frowned. Maybe because we had such a long flight back to Berk and he had nothing better to do than talk, but he decided to say something I think he normally wouldn't have.

“Yeah, but even if you're _ready_ to get married, you don't sound like you really love her. Don't you want to marry someone you love?”

I rolled my eyes. “Hiccup, in the grand scheme of things, how many people  _really_ marry for love?”

“Maybe not many, but still, if you _could_ wouldn't you want to?” Hiccup asked somewhat intensely. 

I scratched an itch next to my ear. “Well, I suppose that if I loved someone, I'd rather marry that person than just the first available woman I happened upon, but that would require me to actually love someone, and I think it's probably common knowledge that I don't really have a heart.”

“Ha!” Astrid exalted, sounding as if I had just proven her right. “Then _maybe_ you should go _find_ one before you actually have baby Jorgensons to screw up!”

“Astrid, you, Fishlegs, and the twins fly on ahead for a few minutes. I'm going to have a little talk with Snotlout,” Hiccup said, which was actually an order in disguise.

“What if I don't _want_ to talk to you?” I asked a little petulantly.

“Too bad,” Hiccup stated flatly, waiting for the others to pull ahead. When we were alone and there was no way the others would be able to hear us, he pointed at me. “I wasn't going to say anything because I wasn't sure at first, but now I am. Last night, I had first watch and I followed you. Astrid was right in that you _do_ have some impressive stealth skills, but I knew where you were going, so I went there and waited for you to show up. Then I spied just enough to know what you've been doing these last few weeks.”

I gulped apprehensively.

“I bet you had no idea that Fishlegs thinks he's been having confusing dreams about you,” Hiccup continued. 

“He has?” I asked in surprise and apprehension.

“Which means that he doesn't _know_ what's been going on because you've been hypnotizing him into Thor – which actually makes a lot of sense when I think about it. From the first moment you saw Thor Bonecrusher, you've been gaga over him,” Hiccup informed me as if I didn't already know.

I looked away. “So what? It's not like he actually exists.”

“So I'm telling you right here and now that you will either _tell_ Fishlegs what's been going on and let him decide how to handle it from there, or you stay away from him. Completely away! It's wrong what you've been doing, and honestly, if I knew how, I'd probably punish you somehow for it.”

“So that's what you want to talk to me about?” I wondered because this was the sort of conversation that he could have mostly had in front of everyone else, sort of like: “Hey, I know what you've been doing and I'm warning you now to stop it or I'll have you thrown in prison or sent to Outcast Island or something.”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Not completely. I'm serious about you telling him or leaving him alone, but I actually hope you'll tell him. I think he's had time to deal with his 'dreams' enough that he might be ready to know the truth. And I think... Well, I think that maybe the two of you should be together. It's not like it's forbidden. It's also not like it never happens. We've had men get married on Berk before.”

“WAIT!” I blurted out in alarm. “You think I should _marry_ him?!”

“Well, why not?” Hiccup asked in confusion.

“He's... He's... He's _Fishlegs_!!!” This basically summed up everything I felt on the subject.

Hiccup gave me a look. “Oh come on! You can't possibly be with Thor – who is a  _part_ of him – without feeling  _something_ for Fishlegs.”

“The only thing I feel for him is a strong wish that he was Thor all the time,” I muttered.

Hiccup sighed in disappointment. “Fine. Then just stay away from him. I don't want him to come to me ever again confused by dreams of things that should not be happening when he doesn't  _know_ that they're happening.”

I looked down at my hands. “Just so you know, I never once did anything that could hurt him. And he's a  _lot_ stronger than he looks! So when he's Thor, he could thoroughly kick my butt if I tried anything he didn't want.”

“I figured that, and _that's_ why I'm going to pretend like I don't know anything,” Hiccup said. “Now, I think we should probably rejoin the others.”

“Yeah,” I murmured in agreement.

“Just... just think about telling him. I think he might react better than you think he will,” Hiccup added before dropping the subject and directing Toothless to speed up.

“Not likely,” I grumbled.

 

***

 

Once we'd made it back to Berk, there was a little celebration. A bit of a feast and a family reunion. I didn't really want to go straight home afterwards, so I took Hookfang for a little flight around the perimeter of the Island. To my surprise, Fishlegs joined me after about 20 minutes.

“Don't marry her!” He blurted out.

“What?” I asked in surprise.

“Ruffnut. Don't marry her,” he repeated.

“Why not?” I wondered with a puzzled frown.

“Because you're planning to marry her for the wrong reasons,” Fishlegs said.

I shrugged. “Reasons are reasons. There aren't really wrong ones when it comes to wanting to get married.”

“Yes there are!” Fishlegs roared. “When it comes to marriage, you should be with her because she makes you happy!”

I rolled my eyes. “I'm not sure there's a person in the world that can make  _me_ happy.”

“No one...?” Fishlegs asked uncertainly.

I snorted in amusement. “Who do you think would make me happy?”

“I, um, ah, well, I, uh, um, I've h-h-had,” he took a deep breath to try to calm his nerves. “I've had dreams! About you, that is,” he clarified with a blush.

“Fishlegs, just drop it and go away,” I stated, steering Hookfang in a different direction.

“No!” He roared as he followed me. “Listen! I've had dreams about you! Or at least I thought they were dreams until I realized that they always start with you showing me a medallion and end with me falling asleep after, uh, well, anyway! The actual end is that once I'm actually asleep, you kiss me and clap your hands. Which means that it's real! They're not dreams! You've been hypnotizing me into Thor!”

I faked a sneering laugh. “And why would I do that?”

“So that I'll do things to you!”

I rolled my eyes at him again. “Fishlegs, if I was  _ever_ going to consider doing things with you,  _I'd_ be the one doing them, not you.”

Fishlegs gave me a probing look. “You say that, but it's not true. As I said, the dreams are all similar enough that I've been able to pick them apart and analyze them. The moment you turn me into Thor, you practically melt and let me do anything I want to you.”

I looked away and said nothing.

“Why won't you just admit it!” He asked in frustration.

“What good would it do?!” I shouted. By this time, we'd actually flown quite a bit away from Berk. It wasn't intentional, I'd actually been trying to fly away from him.

“Well, if you'd just admit that it's really been happening, then maybe we could try being roommates,” he suggested. “If we find that we can get along, maybe... maybe...”

I rolled my eyes at him again. “Don't be stupid! Even if we tried being roommates, and even if it shockingly worked out, I'd be with  _him_ , and you'd probably be better off following your own advice.”

“What advice?” Fishlegs wondered with a puzzled frown. 

“The advice you gave me when you said I shouldn't marry Ruffnut because I should be with someone who made me happy. Let's be honest for a moment, I don't feel anything for _you_ , thus if I was with you, it'd be for my own selfish reasons – mainly access to Thor. You'd be far better off finding someone who makes _you_ happy,” I told him. Once again, I felt like I was the only one on Berk who ever made any sort of sense.

“See that's the thing,” Fishlegs informed me with a thoughtful frown. “You _do_ make Thor happy, and since he's part of me, in a roundabout way, you make _me_ happy. Enough that I really do want to try this. We don't have to make a big deal out of it. We don't have to admit to anything other than that we've decided to try living together as roommates. If things don't work out between us by – say – this time next year, you can always marry Ruffnut after all.”

I laughed derisively. “And what if the world goes insane and we  _do_ work out?! What then? You want us to get married? Oh Fishlegs! Don't you understand that that's stupid! My father would probably murder me, and your parents would probably never stop crying that they'll never have little baby Ingermans to carry on the name.”

He shrugged. “That shouldn't matter. For one, you have a younger brother to carry on your name, and for two, I have a niece and two nephews, thus my name is already carried on.”

“Oh. Right. I keep forgetting about that,” I murmured. Then I shook my head. “It still wouldn't work.”

“ _Why not?_ ” He demanded, growling just a little.

“We're... just too different. Maybe we get along when you're Thor, but when you're not, you're... annoyingly geeky and I'm...”

“A complete asshole?!” Fishlegs suggested darkly.

I sighed and nodded to concede the point. “Exactly, so there's no way it'll work out. There's no point in even trying.”

“Are you actually _afraid_?!” Fishlegs asked incredulously.

“I'm not afraid of anything!” I roared in outrage.

“Then prove it by trying this my way!” Fishlegs cried out a bit desperately.

“And what if I did?! What then?! How do you see this working?!” I shouted at him, angry that he wouldn't just take no for an answer.

“Maybe it won't, but isn't it worth trying?” He asked, still sounding a bit desperate. “If it works, we could both be _happy_.”

I thought about this in silence for a few minutes.

“Do you think you'll really be happy with anyone else?” He asked, now sounding insecure and a bit afraid.

I sighed, feeling a bit defeated. “So... we tell everyone that we're just roommates, and if we find that we somehow work together and are happy, we, what? Just stay roommates for the rest of our lives?”

“We could. Why fix something that isn't broken,” Fishlegs murmured. “ _Or_ we could... you know... g-g-get m-m-marr-ried.” 

I growled in frustration and shook my head. “See? That right there is why it wouldn't work between us. I want someone who is strong and confident! I want someone who can fight at my side! I want –!”

I was cut short when he angled his dragon over to me so that he could grab the back of my neck and half yank me off my dragon. “Shut up Snotlout,” he commanded before kissing me.

To my surprise, I felt much the same as I felt when Thor kissed me – all weak in the knees and melty. I resisted for only a moment before giving in and kissing him back. It was a little different than I was used to because Fishlegs obviously didn't quite know what he was doing, and yet, there was enough of Thor in the kiss that I was able to respond to that.

When he pulled back, he pierced me with his shiny green eyes – which I could still see clearly despite the fact that it was currently after sundown. “So... we'll try?”

I gave him a tiny smile. “Alright Fishlegs, we'll try, but I make no promises that we'll succeed.”

Smiling at me in return, he said: “That's all I ask. Well... that and... um... Do you think you could  _not_ turn me into Thor at least this one time and, um, well, show me what to do?”

“You want to have sex with me?!” I blurted out in shock. 

“You make that sound like it's weird or something,” Fishlegs grumbled.

“I just didn't expect that at all,” I explained. “I thought you'd want me to promise to never try anything with you when you're not Thor.”

“Well, I have so many dreams about it and I really want to know how those dreams compare to the real thing,” he informed me, looking a little embarrassed now.

“Alright,” I murmured in agreement, smiling just a tiny bit. I pointed toward a small Island that no one lived on. It had a little cave the could provide a bit of shelter if travelers were caught out in a storm. 

He swallowed and looked like he was going to be sick for a moment, and then nodded. “Yeah. That's a good place...”

Especially since enough travelers had sheltered there over the years that the cave had a little wooden bed in it that would make this a bit less awkward. That said, beds in general were actually rather hard, and the blanket over the sand in the cave that I'd had my first time was actually more comfortable. If we were lucky, there'd be a sandy spot somewhere on the Island that we could throw a blanket over.

To my surprise, we were in luck. There was a nice soft place to throw a blanket. Even better, Fishlegs remembered his 'dreams' enough to mostly know what to do. He used his oil and prepared me a bit timidly. Since we were naked, I enjoyed having him on top of me, blocking me from the chilly breeze. He was apparently too focused on what he was doing to notice it ruffling his hair. I smoothed it back down with a hand.

When he felt ready, he shifted into place. I now knew exactly how big he was and was  _still_ amazed I could take that, but I could, so I relaxed. “Kiss me,” I whispered in his ear.

Looking a little surprised, he paused to do exactly that. This kiss was as thrilling as they've all been, which I honestly didn't think would be the case. Then he pushed inside me and I moaned happily. To my continual surprise, this was the best feeling in the world.

He moaned in my ear and picked a pace that was likely to end soon for both of us. I clung to him, digging my fingers into his arms as I arched my back into him. Just like every time before this, I was a little overwhelmed by the pleasure of having something inside me hitting a spot that made me see stars.

I tried to hold back my embarrassing squeals, but I just couldn't, so I bit his shoulder as I pumped out a mess between us. He groaned and sped up a little until he filled me with that hot wetness that I secretly loved. I melted into the ground under us with a happy little sigh.

He rolled off me and panted in an attempt to catch his breath. “Wow!” 

I smirked, feeling the same. It was the reason I'd kept coming back to him despite having a conflict in my head about the fact that Thor was  _Fishlegs_ . We were both chilly now, so he pulled the blanket off the bed next to us and covered us with it.

When we were calm and warm and sleepy, Fishlegs shifted to pierce me with his eyes. “Alright, I've decided that this is how it's going to work: you can have Thor whenever you want so long as I get to have  _you_ whenever I want.”

“You mean I get to have twice as much sex? I'm not really seeing a downside to this,” I murmured, purposely sounding like an ass.

Fishlegs sighed, sounding relieved and content. “Good. We'll move into the old goat herder's hut tomorrow.”

“Alright, just don't expect me to be a pleasant roommate,” I warned him.

He chuckled. “Don't worry, I don't.”

I kissed him and then lay looking at the roof of the cave while I thought about how this would work. He was probably doing the same because he was quiet too, but still holding me in his arms and stroking my shoulder with his fingers.

“I told you to leave him alone!” Hiccup roared angrily. He had apparently come looking for us when we didn't return to Berk right away.

“I was going to!” I yelled defensively. 

“I also told you that I'd have to punish you somehow if you kept hypnotizing and doing things to him!”

“Hiccup stop!” Fishlegs cried out, holding out both his hands to reinforce his order.

“Fishlegs?” Hiccup asked in disbelief.

“Yes. Thank you for being concerned about me, but it's not necessary,” he stated confidently.

“How do I know you're not just pretending to throw me off?” Hiccup asked suspiciously.

I clapped my hands three times. Fishlegs gestured to me. 

“See? If I wasn't me, I'd be freaking out right now.”

“That's true...” Hiccup admitted, biting his lip in thought.

“We've decided to try living together as roommates,” Fishlegs explained unnecessarily. 

“But we'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone why,” I added. “If this thing doesn't work out, we want to be able to go our separate ways without the whole island telling us that they knew it'd go bad all along.”

Fishlegs nodded in agreement.

Hiccuped groaned and ran a hand through his hair. “Alright, I'll keep your secret, but what happens if it  _does_ work out?”

We both shrugged. “All we know so far is that we're going to try,” I replied.

“If it works, we can always decide what to do then,” Fishlegs added.

“Alright,” Hiccup stated in acceptance. “Well, um, congratulations I guess. I'll... just... _go_ now.”

I turned my head after he'd gone to look at Fishlegs. “We should probably get back as well.”

He nodded in agreement, and then surprised me by grabbing the back of my neck and pulling me close for another kiss. “I didn't realize it until I heard you talking about marrying Ruffnut, but I have feelings for you. I'm really hoping that this thing between us  _does_ work out.”

Feeling a tiny smile stretch my lips, I turned so that I was looking away from him and could hide my vulnerable expression. Whispering softly, I said: “Me too...”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That part where Fishlegs is talking to Hiccup about how he thought Hiccup was going to choose Ruffnut because Astrid is the expected choice, that's how I actually feel. I think the writers were being lazy by making them fall in love because it was the obvious choice from the moment Astrid first appeared on screen in the first movie. I was really hoping that the writers would heavily *hint* at the pairing, and then throw in the twist of Hiccup finding that he's actually in love with Ruffnut and baffled because it doesn't make any sense, lol. But just like the writers could throw the *hint* of a relationship between Snotlout and Fishlegs/Thor into the story as a comedic plot device but never *actually* put them together, the writers couldn't take a stand and say that the expected pairing was too cliché. It's a good business decision even though it's lazy writing, lol. Oh well, the series is over now, so Hiccup will forever after be with Astrid, and Snotlout and Fishlegs will apparently forever be fighting over the only other eligible *girl* in Berk, sigh...


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little over a year after they start living together, Snotlout and Fishlegs are sent on missions to different Islands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though this is the second (and final) chapter in a story titled Thor Bonecrusher, he doesn't actually make an appearance, lol. 
> 
> Also, Snotlout as a character in the movies differs a little from the TV series. In the movies, he's an arrogant asshole who's also willing to look just a little foolish in the pursuit of romance. In the TV series, he's actually more realistic on the whole. Yes, he's still arrogant and selfish, but he's also a loyal friend and while he does seem to hide his emotions behind snark most of the time, he *also* pouts, whines, complains, shows happiness, etc - and even hugs his friends from time to time. So I hope I've written him believably, lol!

 

“Why do you two always pretend to fight over Ruffnut?” Hiccup asked curiously. He'd come over to our hut to chat about dragons with Fishlegs. This had been blurted out rather unexpectedly – even by him.

Fishlegs and I both chuckled. “Diversionary tactics,” I explained. “So long as we both _seem_ to be interested in her, all of our parents basically leave us alone about getting serious and settling down.”

“Ah,” Hiccup murmured in understanding. “That also explains why you both _also_ do things on a regular basis to make her mad and unlikely to favor either of you.”

“Yep,” Fishlegs confirmed.

“Plus it's kind of fun to pretend to be foolish, lovestruck, idiots around her,” I added. “It gives us both the reputation of being weird and prone to doing odd things.”

Fishlegs laughed again. “That way, if we get caught doing anything strange with each other, we can always pretend to simply be fighting over her.”

Hiccup sighed in concern. “Alright, but what if she starts to believe that the both of you are serious about her and finally picks one of you?”

“I'm pretty sure we'll be able to screw everything up enough to get her to call it off in practically no time,” I stated confidently.

“If you say so...” Hiccup murmured, clearly having misgivings.

“Hiccup, go away now so that I can get ready for bed,” I commanded, pointing out the door.

Fishlegs blushed and looked away from Hiccup but didn't try to argue.

“Right...” Hiccup said, clearly uncomfortable with the thought of what we planned to do.

NOT because he found it repugnant, just that he was only 20 and still in that awkward stage where sex in general was weird to him. I was willing to lay good odds that he'd never even done anything with Astrid. In anyone else, I'd think this was an indication that he preferred someone else – maybe even someone male – but in him, I think it really is just that he has so many other things on his mind that he doesn't want to be distracted by it until he's ready to get married.

He left and I looked at Fishlegs. “Who do you want to be tonight?”

“Myself, if you don't mind,” he replied.

I nodded in acceptance because his only rule for our relationship was that I could have Thor whenever I wanted so long as he got to have me whenever he wanted, and honestly, after the first month or so, I'd gotten used to being with him so much that I'd almost completely stopped hypnotizing him into Thor. Now I only did it when I was really in the mood for something different – or energetic – or sometimes even a bit violent – because Thor was good at that. For everything else, Fishlegs was surprisingly all I needed.

“Come on,” I ordered, taking his hand and leading him up the stairs to our bedroom. Lucky for us that no one ever insisted on taking a peek at our bedroom when they visited – which in and of itself was thankfully rare. If anyone ever _did_ look in our room, they'd see one big bed rather than two smaller separate ones – as they all assumed we must have. “Huh! You know, I know that beds made out of wood are the only option, but don't you sometimes wish that we could have something a bit softer?”

Fishlegs smiled at me. “Like the times that we fly to one of the nearby uninhabited islands and find a nice soft patch of grass or sand?”

“Exactly!” I exclaimed in agreement.

Fishlegs got a deeply speculative look on his face. “Hmm... I think I might be able to come up with something. I'm not saying that it'll be particularly comfortable, but straw is often used for animal bedding. At the very least, it seems worth a try.”

I looked away from him, still a bit weird when giving him actual compliments. “Well, if _anyone_ can figure something out, it's you.”

He smiled at me, pulled me close, and then demanded a possessive kiss. I pulled away after a moment and frowned.

“You know... it's been almost a year since we started living together, and I think it's clear by this point that something about us works. I really hope you don't want us to change anything when the year mark actually arrives, because – ”

“Snotlout, shut up,” Fishlegs ordered in no uncertain terms before kissing me again and pulling me onto our bed with him.

“But!” I protested because I had a very important point to make about how he had been right that we 'shouldn't fix something that isn't broken' when it comes to our relationship.

He grabbed the back of my neck and squeezed rather hard. “I said Shut. Up!”

I pressed my lips together and felt a shiver of excitement run up my spine. He was on top of me now, busy pulling my clothes off. The strangest – and frankly best – part of our relationship is that during the day when we were out of our house doing the various things we needed to do, he was... Fishlegs. A geek, sort of timid, a bit of a scholar, a problem solver, a disconcertingly important person in Berk. But come nighttime when we were alone in our hut... he didn't exactly turn into a different person, but rather became more confident and assertive. He had no problem calling me out on my BS and telling me to shut up when I needed it.

And that never failed to turn me on to no end. It was more or less exactly what I was looking for in my relationship. During the days, I'd bicker with and bully him, during the nights, he'd own me. All in all, I was shockingly happy.

And by every indication, so was he.

 

***

During the funeral service for Stoic, I was extremely tempted to hold Fishlegs' hand. I have no idea why I was so sad to see our Chief go, but I was. Even so, I wiped away my tears and tried my best to seem like a man (who isn't supposed to cry so easily). Then I looked over at Fishlegs and seeing him silently weep made me want to hold his hand even more. And comfort him. And be the rock he leaned on for support. But instead, I turned away and did nothing.

 

***

As often as possible, our village likes to have fun by flying dragons around collecting sheep in order to win points. Most of the time, Fishlegs and I enacted our plan to confuse everyone by giving the sheep we caught to Ruffnut. But ever since she met and seemingly fell in love with Eret – _and_ we defended our home from a man who managed to steal all our dragons (and basically ignored Ruffnut when we got them back) – she's been a little wiser to our antics. So, rather than hand a win to her during the last game we had, I stole the sheep from Fishlegs and tossed it in my own basket. As I did so, I blew a kiss at him that was meant to be seen as a sarcastic, smug, and possibly bullying gesture. Only the two of us know that I was actually being playful. It's basically the closest the two of us are comfortable coming to showing affection to each other in public.

 

***

 

“Oi! Don't make me come up there and see your messy bachelor bedroom!” Astrid called out loudly. “But it's time for one of you to wake up and take a watch!”

“I'll take it,” Fishlegs murmured in my ear, jostling me as he pulled free from the spoon he was holding me in. When he was facing the stairs, he called out loudly enough for Astrid to hear. “Alright! I'm getting ready! No need to shout anymore!”

“Fine!” Astrid returned a little less loudly. “I'll just wait outside for a few minutes to make sure that you don't fall back to sleep.”

“Okay!” Fishlegs agreed.

“Our bedroom is not messy,” I grumbled grumpily, trying to get comfortable again and failing.

“Only because I personally keep it organized to my liking,” Fishlegs pointed out with a soft laugh.

“Have a good watch,” I bade as I tossed onto my other side. It was just no good! Without Fishlegs in bed with me, nothing was comfortable.

Fishlegs shrugged. “It's the last two hours of nightwatch, it's almost guaranteed to be quiet. I'm going to take Meatlug to a cave on a nearby island for breakfast when my watch is done.”

“If I'm awake, I might join you,” I half promised.

“That's a bit early for you still, so I'd be surprised,” Fishlegs said with an amused smirk.

“Oh go away before Astrid thinks she needs to barge in here to see what's taking so long,” I ordered, still grumpy to have been woken before the sun came up.

Fishlegs – now fully dressed – leaned over and kissed me. “Try to get some more sleep. There's no reason for us _both_ to be awake so soon after our night.”

I couldn't help but smile at the memory. Neither of us had remembered to check the nightwatch schedule, so we didn't think there was a reason to go to sleep early. Therefore, we were up _really_ late doing things to each other that felt _so_ damn good!

With one last kiss, Fishlegs took off to man one of the watchtowers located around the island. Most of the time, it was unnecessary – in fact nothing had happened so far, not since Hiccup had become Chief anyway. That said, we all knew that there were a lot of people in the vast archipelago that would love to raid a place as prosperous (relatively speaking) as Berk. We could never be too cautious. Besides, the nightwatch shifts were split up into two hour increments and shared between everyone old enough to sit in a watchtower and look around warily. This meant we only had to do a couple of shifts a week, which wasn't all that bad considering how much of a pain in the ass it was to be woken up early.

With a frustrated sigh, I tossed onto my other side again and tried to go back to sleep. Which must have worked because the next thing I knew, I was scared awake so much that I literally screamed as I sat up and clutched my chest.

“Heh heh!” Ruffnut chuckled gloatingly. “I _told_ them you'd wake up if I stared at you for about a minute or so.”

“What are you doing, scaring me like that?!” I demanded with a dark glare.

“Why's your bed so big?” Tuffnut asked, which had nothing to do with anything at the moment, so I ignored him. I also noticed Astrid looking bored and leaning against a wall as she studied all the notes Fishlegs had posted to the adjacent wall about dragons.

“Are you... naked...?” Ruffnut asked, trying to lift the blanket off my hips to get a good peek.

Doing my best not to blush, I smirked at her knowingly. “Why? Interested?”

Ruffnut made a sound and gave me a look that I honestly couldn't interpret. I _think_ she actually was interested, but not for the normal reasons a person was usually interested in a person being naked. I was immediately wary.

“It's always too cold to sleep naked!” Tuffnut stated, shivering. Then he frowned curiously. “Where's Fishlegs bed?”

I snorted in amusement. “He sleeps on the floor over there with Meatlug, and Hookfang sleeps in bed with me, and since he's a fire dragon, he makes it too hot to sleep with clothes on.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” Tuffnut replied in a tone I now recognized as his way of trying to sound smarter than he really was.

Suddenly, I realized that Astrid was studying the floor – which had a large circle of flat hearth stones for Meatlug to sleep on when she wanted. Astrid then looked at the bed suspiciously, noting that while it was a lot bigger than the single beds we all grew up with, it wasn't quite big enough for Hookfang to sleep in. Also, he actually liked to sleep in the dragon enclosure most of the time, and she knew it because Stormfly did too. I could actually see the moment she figured things out because her eyes went wide in shock and astonishment.

“Anything in particular you wanted that you felt you had to come in here and wake me up?” I asked before Astrid could blurt anything out.

“Hiccup sent us to wake you up and ask you to go see him in the Great Hall,” Ruffnut explained, gesturing over her shoulder to indicate the Great Hall. Then she slipped a hand under my blanket again to pull it up just enough to get another peek. “Mmm... maybe I shouldn't have been so hasty to punch you when you tried to kiss me a couple of months ago.”

I snorted a laugh at that. “You mean that all I had to do to impress you was bring you back to my room and get naked?”

“Stop trying to look at that, Ruff! It's making me want to hurl!” Her brother protested.

Ruffnut laughed. “You might have to get used to me trying to look at those things, because how else am I going to ever get married and have babies?”

Tuffnut looked torn. We all knew that on the one hand, he actually did look forward to being an uncle someday. On the other hand, we were also pretty sure that he'd probably murder anyone who tried to touch his sister long enough to make babies.

“What's going on in here?” Fishlegs asked unexpectedly, basically announcing that he'd just returned home from his watch and taking Meatlug out for breakfast.

“Hiccup asked us to come wake Snotlout up,” Astrid explained, still looking like she was biting her tongue and about ready to faint from shock.

I winked at him. “And apparently Ruffnut is fascinated by what I'm hiding under the blanket.”

I saw an interesting flare of something go through Fishlegs eyes, but he literally shrugged it off. He grabbed Ruffnut by the hand that was slowly trying to decide how far it wanted to go under my blanket, and then grabbed Tuffnut by the scruff of his neck. Astrid was watching him suspiciously.

“Come on guys, if Snotlout is supposed to go see Hiccup, then he needs to get dressed.” Uncharacteristically forceful, Fishlegs herded the twins and Astrid out of our room. As he left, he gave me a glare that let me know he wasn't happy about the situation. But what the hell had he expected me to do? _Tell_ Ruffnut that I wasn't allowed to encourage her sudden advances because I hadn't talked about it with my boyfriend yet? I honestly could not see that having gone well.

“What does Hiccup want anyway?” Fishlegs asked from downstairs as I slipped out of bed and pulled on my clothes.

“I have no idea,” Astrid informed him.

“Do you really sleep on the floor with Meatlug so that Hookfang can sleep on the bed?” Tuffnut asked, sounding confused again. “I mean, while that does make some sense, wouldn't it be more comfortable to have a second bed that you can share with Meatlug.”

Fishlegs laughed softly, and I imagine that he was probably shaking his head. “Meatlug prefers the hearth stones and keeps them nice and warm. If she slept in a bed with me, she'd probably end up setting it on fire, so that's why I don't have my own bed.”

“ _Really_...?” Astrid drawled in disbelief.

“Mmmhmm, excuse me a moment, I forgot to grab something from my worktable,” Fishlegs excused himself and came back upstairs in time to watch me pull my tunic on, making me fully dressed. He grabbed me by the back of my neck and softly growled in my ear. “Where did she touch you?”

I rolled my eyes. “She didn't; just peeked under the blanket a couple of times.”

Still clearly not happy about this, he gave me a possessive kiss.

“Besides, we agreed that we'd keep up appearances,” I reminded him quietly.

He sighed in defeat. “That's true, we did. I just wasn't prepared to walk into our bedroom and find her in bed with you and looking like things might happen if her brother and Astrid left you alone.”

“What's taking so long?!” Ruffnut roared up the stairs.

“Coming!” I called out with a smirk, then gave Fishlegs a kiss. “I think I like it when you're jealous,” I whispered before removing his hand from my neck and running down the stairs. Knowing that he would follow me at a normal pace, I decided to see just how jealous I could make him. “Care to lead the way, princess?” I asked as I took Ruffnut's hand in mine and kissed it.

“Ugh! Who said I wanted your spit on my hand?!” She asked indignantly.

I shrugged. “You did when you tried to get under my blanket with me.”

“Those are two different things entirely!”

“No they're not,” I assured her.

“Apparently she only likes you when you're naked and in bed,” Tuffnut observed.

I snorted a laugh, grinning unrepentantly. “I don't mind!”

“EW!” Tuffnut groaned in disgust. “I didn't mean it like _that_!”

“Are we _going_?” Fishlegs demanded rather petulantly.

“I thought I was the only one summoned by Hiccup,” I pointed out in confusion.

Astrid shrugged. “Chances are that he wants us all there anyway.”

“Whatever,” I muttered, leading the way so that Fishlegs could stop analyzing how close or not close I was standing to Ruffnut.

Once we were in the Great Hall, Hiccup looked up at us from a message he was reading. “Snotlout... I have a mission for you.”

“What???” I asked in surprise. That honestly was the last thing I expected him to say!

“I have a mission for you,” Hiccup repeated. He sighed a bit heavily. “I got a Terror Mail from the Wingmaidens that they've been plagued with raids. Nothing has been stolen yet, but a group of unknown men has been bombarding their island until they fight back for a few minutes, then retreating only to attack again the next day. The Wingmaidens don't think they need help – or anything like that – but they _would_ like to know if we know anything about it. Since we don't and I'd really like to know what's going on, I'm going to send you, your father, and your brother out to check on them and see if you can be of any use in figuring out what's going on.”

“Ugh! Why my father and brother?!” I asked in dismay. “Why not let me bring Fishlegs and the Twins?”

“Because... I actually think this might be a very insane attempt at diversionary tactics,” Hiccup replied. “I think that the reason the group isn't doing much more than harassing the Wingmaidens is that they either hope to draw all of us away from Berk so another party can raid us – which I'll admit would be stupid because it's more than a day by dragon just to _get_ to Wingmaiden Island from here, but I can't rule it out. And if it's not _us_ they are trying to draw out, it might be Mala. Or even Dagur and Berserker Island.”

“Wait, didn't Dagur go live with Mala and leave Heather to be Chief of Berserker Island?” Fishlegs asked with a puzzled frown.

“I thought he wasn't allowed to live with her until their wedding,” Hiccup said.

“I'm pretty sure they got married a year ago,” Astrid said, then she punched Hiccup on the bicep. “And you were his best man!”

“Oh, right, I keep trying very hard not to think about that,” Hiccup admitted.

“Since Heather's obviously never going to come back to be with you – being the Chief of Berserker Island,” Tuffnut rambled on curiously. “Are you going to eventually go live with her, Fishlegs?”

Fishlegs looked surprised by the very idea. He slowly shook his head back and forth. “No... I don't think we were meant to be after all...” Then he squared his shoulders and faced Hiccup. “But I think I _should_ go with Snotlout.”

I rolled my eyes and sneered. “If you recall, _I'm_ the official Ambassador to the Wingmaidens. They love me! And it's been forever since I seen my girl Minden – what would you even _do_ there?”

“As crude as he's being, Snotlout has a point,” Hiccup said. “I'm sending him because he is... well, like an Ambassador to them. Meanwhile, Fishlegs, I want to send you to visit Heather and see if she knows anything.”

Fishlegs tilted his head side to side as he considered this. “Yeah, alright.”

I couldn't help but glower a little at that, so I turned around to pretend to study the art on the wall to hide this.

“And Astrid, I want to send you to Mala... and Dagur, apparently,” Hiccup informed her.

“Hey! Why not us?!” The twins demanded in unison. “We're they reason they're together!”

Hiccup took a deep breath and visibly steeled himself. “Because I need you guys here in case someone attacks. I _can't_ have all my riders gone.”

“Wait!” I blurted out. “If you want as many people here as possible, then _why_ are you sending my dad and brother with me, but no one with them?”

“Oh, I'm sending people with them too, I just hadn't mentioned that part yet,” Hiccup explained. “Fishlegs, since Berserker Island is the closest to Berk, I'm going to send Gobber with you – that way, I know you'll be fine if you run into any trouble. Astrid, I'm going to send Eret with you.”

“Alright,” Astrid agreed with a shrug.

“I'll take Eret and Astrid can have my family!” I suggested a bit frantically because my father had been really getting on my nerves lately.

Hiccup rolled his eyes at me, shook his head, and then walked away – heading toward his Chief's chair. “I want you guys to get ready and ride out as soon as possible! And take a couple Tiny Terrors with you so that you can send messages if you need to.”

“ARGH!” I roared in frustration as I stormed out of the Great Hall.

 

***

 

Astrid waited until everyone else was gone before turning to look at Hiccup. He smiled at her.

“Waiting to kiss me goodbye?”

She chuckled. “No, I was planning to do that before I took off. But I suppose that I can kiss you now too.”

They kissed for a minute or two, and then broke apart to rest their foreheads on each other.

“I actually stayed behind because I wanted to tell you something,” Astrid informed him.

“Oh?” Hiccup asked curiously.

“I... I think Snotlout and Fishlegs are... _together_...”

Hiccup gasped and covered her mouth, dragging her to somewhere they wouldn't be overheard if someone happened to be lurking outside a window or the door. “How did you figure that out?” He asked in a quiet hiss.

“You mean you _knew_?!” Astrid demanded in a whispered shout. “And why are we acting like this is some big secret?”

Hiccup sighed. “They've been together since they moved in with each other, and depending on how you look at it, they were together for a bit before we left Dragon's Edge.”

“Why didn't you tell me?!” Astrid asked angrily.

“Because they asked me to keep it a secret from everyone!” Hiccup answered defensively. “How would you feel if you told me a very big secret and I told Fishlegs because he's my best friend?”

Astrid grumbled, clearly wondering if she could get away with arguing that a girlfriend should be considered more important than a best friend, but it was true; she'd be angrier than a mama dragon defending her babies from snatchers if she found out that Hiccup told any of her secrets to anyone. She sighed in defeat.

“Well... why are _they_ keeping it a secret?” She wondered.

Hiccup shrugged. “I suppose they don't think it's anyone's business. How did you find out?”

Astrid scoffed. “You sent us to wake Snotlout up, and I usually just yell up the stairs if I have to wake either of them, but Ruff and Tuff wanted to scare him awake – which they did – and I suppose that I wanted to be amused if it worked, so I went up to their room. I honestly thought it would be a disaster area! But I was surprised to find it neat and orderly. As I was looking around, Tuffnut asked why the bed was so big, and Snotlout almost certainly lied by claiming that he shared it with Hookfang – which made me realize that if Fishlegs didn't have his own bed, then he must sleep _with_ Snotlout, and that...” She trailed off with a shrug.

Then she tilted her head to the side and looked extremely curious. “Snotlout was naked. Do you think they...” She rolled her hand to gesture: _you know_.

Hiccup ran a hand through his hair and turned to look away from her. “I know they do and I _really_ don't want to think about it.”

“How do you know they do?” Astrid probed, forcing him to turn around and look at her again.

“The same way I know they're together. Fishlegs talked to me about it, but also, I thought something bad was happening once and sort of walk in on them when they were done, so, yeah...” Hiccup explained reluctantly.

“Wow... they're... really together!” Astrid announced. She was strangely impressed by this information. “I didn't think either of them would _want_ to try to get along enough to be real friends, much less lovers.”

“It baffles me too,” Hiccup assured her.

“Because they're both men?” Astrid wondered with a frown.

Hiccup shook his head. “No, just that they don't seem the type to get along. I honestly have to wonder how much of their bickering when they see each other in public is an act put on so that no one will know what's really going on.”

“Good point!” Astrid exclaimed in agreement. “They've been overtly fighting over Ruffnut for ages now, and yet, when it seemed like she might finally be interested in Snotlout, Fishlegs looked ready to murder someone. I might normally have thought he was mad because she was picking Snotlout over him, but now that I know they're together, I really think he was seething with jealousy that she was trying to get into bed with his naked lover.”

Hiccup nodded. “The last time I talked with Fishlegs about it, he said that they both pursued her and yet pushed her away so that she'd never want to settle down with either of them. It probably hurt his feelings to find Snotlout – well, I'm assuming he wasn't discouraging her.”

“Exactly!”

Hiccup sighed. “And his father has been nagging me to nag him to make an actual offer for Ruffnut's hand in marriage – which is a big part of the reason I'm sending the whole family as far away from Berk as I can for the next week or so.”

“Ah,” Astrid murmured in understanding.

 

***

 

I naturally arrived in our hut before Fishlegs because I was storming rather quickly and he was sort of trudging far behind me. It didn't occur to me to be in less of a hurry to pack up and go, which it should have because I couldn't _stand_ the thought of my father having nothing to do but nag me to marry Ruffnut for the entire ride to Wingmaiden Island. I tossed a few of my things around my room for a few minutes so that it would take longer to gather them up and put them in my pack. At this point, I was going to get on Hookfang and go – and pray that Hiccup hadn't told my father the news yet. Maybe I'd be able to get away before he was anywhere close to ready to go.

Fishlegs was quiet as he entered our room. “I'm sorry I got weird about Ruffnut earlier. We always said that since we _do_ actually want kids someday and she'd be the only one who could have them for us, that we'd just sort of _do it_ if she ever picked one of us, but... when I saw her with her hand practically in your lap, I think I saw red.”

I nodded. “Look, I wouldn't have done anything at that point because one: I was supposed to go see Hiccup; that's the entire reason she was in our room. And two: there were two other people in the room, and I don't think I could do that in front of her brother.” Then I stroked my chin in thought. “Actually, if it ever happens, I'll probably have to as I don't see him leaving her alone long enough to get it done in private.”

Fishlegs chuckled weakly at that. “Yeah... I've thought much the same.” Then he took a deep breath and sighed. “My real point is that I thought about it on the way back to our hut and I decided that... well... if we're _serious_ about wanting kids someday, then we're going to have to have them with _someone_ , right? I don't _really_ want to know the details of whatever happens with you, but I thought that maybe I should tell you that if I have a chance to do anything like that with Heather, I should probably take it. As I told Tuffnut earlier, I know we're not meant to be together, but I think she'd actually be relieved that she could have children of her own and not have to worry about marrying some man who wants to be the Chief of her Island for her. So, it would be a little bit like a contract, I suppose, to have kids and share them.”

I frowned even as I nodded my head in understanding. “That's a smart plan, I suppose. So... Are you telling me to pick a Wingmaiden and get her pregnant?”

Fishlegs shook his head. “I'm saying that if you do, I don't want to know anything about it until you can come to me and say: well apparently I have a child now.” He took a calming breath. “Although, I suppose that I would encourage you to discuss the matter with her first and see if she'd be open to a shared child. With the Wingmaidens, men are not allowed to live on their Island, and most of them are dedicated to their sacred task of raising Razorwhips, so I think they might welcome a chance to have children with someone who doesn't expect anything except equal custody.”

“You're making sense,” I informed him reluctantly. Then I grabbed his shoulders in my hands. “Listen, I know I talk big, but you have to know by now that most of it is bluster. I'm not saying that I wouldn't consider taking advantage of it if presented with an opportunity – since it really is the only way I'll ever have a child of my own... our own... _Anyway_ , I've never actually been with a girl before, and I honestly don't know how to get one to agree to go to bed with me. So, I don't think you have to worry so much about that.”

Clearly feeling better, Fishlegs hugged me. “Actually, I'm not worried so much as, oh, I don't know. Being irrational, I suppose. I wonder what would happen to me if you decided to marry Ruffnut after all – or if you fell in love with a Wingmaiden. At least on that, I have the assurance that you wouldn't be able to live with her and would have to come back to me anyway.”

“You think I wouldn't come back to you?” I asked curiously.

“Well... I'm honestly not sure why you stay on Berk. I can't really think of _anything_ on this Island that you want or need, and I can think of so many reasons why you would love to just take off and fly around the archipelago, having adventures and maybe finding a woman as... bold and... brash as you are.”

I gave him a look that let him know I thought he was being stupid again. “Fishlegs, what keeps _you_ on this Island?”

“Well... my family's here. My work is here. I have a _place_ in society here.”

“And you don't think I have that?” I wondered, having never really thought about this before.

“No... not really...”

“Hmm...” He actually has a point. I shrugged. “As much as they annoy me, my family is here. I was born and raised here, and now that we live in the old goat herder's hut, I herd goats. It may not be an important or scholarly place in society, but it's a place. Besides, we _all_ know that I'm the only one Hiccup can depend on in a crisis. If I left to go have adventures, I'd have no place to lay my head at night.” I tapped his shoulder, where I usually lay my head because it was far more comfortable than the wooden bed.

“So... are you saying that you... you stay here for me?”

I smirked at him mischievously. “You can think that if you want.” I kissed him. “But I should probably get going before Hiccup actually tells my dad and brother that they're supposed to be coming with me.”

“You can't go alone!” Fishlegs protested in dismay.

“Better alone than with my father listing the hundred or so reasons why I should marry Ruffnut – at least 70 of which are that she can have babies and I should really have babies before I get too old to want them,” I informed him.

He watched me shove the last of my belongings that I was bringing into my bag, and then turn to leave. Suddenly, he grabbed me by the back of my neck and yanked me over to the bed, where he forced me to bend over and brace myself.

“I _know_ it's probably unlikely that anything bad will happen to either of us, but if it _does_ , I want the last thing we did together to be this,” he informed me as he pulled my pants down and quickly prepared me with that foul smelling fish oil. If I had a chance while traveling around, I was going to find something that smelled better.

Not saying anything because I astonishingly _loved_ having sex with him, I simply braced myself on the bed and waited for him to get ready. I inhaled a bit as he pushed into me because – no matter how many times we did this – it was still a lot to take. But then he was inside me and I pushed into him because I knew we didn't have a lot of time. The usual burn was soon replaced with a zinging pleasure, making me moan repeatedly. I grabbed my shaft and stroked it rapidly, making my whole body get tighter as the end drew near. With a breathless grunt, I painted the bed with long pearly stripes.

This almost never failed to make Fishlegs grip my hips tightly and groan as he pumped me full. This time was no exception. He gripped my hips and sped up his thrusts until I was filled with that wet heat I just couldn't get enough of.

Fishlegs was quiet again as he recovered for a minute or so, and then pulled free. He got dressed, not really looking at me. I was tempted to sigh in frustration that he was obviously upset about something again, but focused on pulling up my pants and fastening them properly. Then I grabbed him and made him look at me, for once.

“And _this_ is the last thing I'd like for us to do before I leave – in case the worst should happen to either of us,” I said before kissing him. He melted into the kiss, which lasted a good minute or so before we broke apart, breathing rather roughly. “Hey, you do remember the phrase you're supposed to say if you ever find yourself alone and under attack, right?”

He nodded. I silently sighed in relief. Since I had figured out how to hypnotize him in ways that influenced Thor so that he was exactly what was needed each time he was called, I'd once given Thor specific instructions that I left in place. Should Fishlegs ever _need_ to become Thor to defend himself, all he had to do was say: Thor Bonecrusher come forth and protect me in my time of need. Thor would them come out and remain the dominant personality until I clapped my hands. Thus, I was reasonably sure that no one would be able to hurt my lover. Unless they caught him off guard, but I tried really hard not to think about that.

“Good. Then I guess I'll see you when we both return home.”

He nodded again, whispering: “Be careful.”

“I'll try,” I promised, only ever sincere when promising that to him. To everyone else, I just made sarcastic comments letting them know that I didn't think it was _me_ that needed to be careful.

With a last kiss, I left our hut.

 

***

 

The moment I spotted Wingmaiden Island in the distance, I sighed in relief. I'd managed to make it all the way here without my father and brother catching up with me. This was because Hiccup assumed that _I_ would tell them to get ready to go, but I didn't. Chances were very good that Hiccup roared angrily when he realized that I'd left without them, but since neither of them knew where Wingmaiden Island was, and I doubted Hiccup would betray a trust by giving them explicit directions to the place, he probably sent them to Dragon's Edge to wait. That way, if I needed them, they would be close enough by for me to go get them. And if not, they could live there permanently for all I cared.

Alright, that was a lie. I'd miss them, but having a nice long break from them would be very welcome. Mostly from my father.

Upon arrival, both Atali and Minden greeted me, letting me know what little they knew, which was pretty much exactly what Hiccup had already told me – that unknown men on ships kept attacking the Island but refused to tell them why and retreated once the Wingmaidens started fighting back. I told them Hiccup's speculation that it might be a ploy to get the Wingmaidens to call for assistance, thereby diverting someone from an attack on _their_ island.

“This makes some sense,” Atali admitted with a heavy sigh. Then she beckoned me to follow her. “Come, I'll show you where you'll be staying while you're here. I hope we can stop these men soon!”

“You and me both,” I muttered because I was shockingly missing Fishlegs. Like a lot!

“Anything new with you?” Minden asked as we followed Atali.

I shrugged. “Not really. My dad is pestering me almost constantly to get married already. Any chance you want to come back to Berk with me?”

Minden laughed and shook her head. “I just got a new baby Razorwhip a month ago and there's no way I'd leave now. Also, probably not ever.”

“Yeah, I figured,” I pretended to grumble. Then I thought, why not? Worth a shot. “Um... so I don't mean this to sound rude even though I know you're probably going to think I'm being a jerk, but, um, well... How interested would you be in having a child with me?”

Minden and Atali both stopped in their tracks and stared at me.

I held up my hands. “I don't mean to be a jerk, I just thought that I want a child and since men aren't allowed to live on this Island, if you want children, you probably have to have them with strangers or something. At least this way, we could share the child – say I get him or her for two months on Berk, and then you get him or her for two months here. Back and forth.”

To my surprise, Atali smiled. “He _did_ ask you to marry him first. That probably means a lot to him.” Then Atali patted me on the shoulder. “Actually, we tend to make the agreement this way, if we have a girl, she lives here on our Island full time, and the father can visit from time to time – if he wants – but probably not as much as _you'd_ like if having children is your goal. If it's a boy, he lives with his father – which in this case, would be you.”

“And you'd what? Never see him?” I asked, feeling offended for some reason.

“Actually, we'd come for visits and expect you to bring him here at least twice a year for a few days,” Atali clarified. “So yes, we actually do know how to share our children, and can see how it's beneficial to do so. Also, when a Wingmaiden finds a man she trusts enough to share children with, she usually agrees to have at least two with the hope being that one will be a boy and one a girl. Obviously, it doesn't always work out that way.”

I looked at Minden again, who seemed to be lost in thought. She must have felt me looking at her because she suddenly looked up at me. “Alright. I'll do it. It just so happens that we know a lot about fertility on this Island – for various reasons – and so I know I'll be fertile if you stay here for at least a week. If we try then, it should work.”

Atali made a sort of scoffing noise. “Sure! I was fertile two nights ago! Just my luck! But the elders tell us that the three days before and after a fertile night can be more than worth a try. So what say you, Snotlout? Want to give it a try?”

I was more than a little shocked! I hadn't really expected Minden to agree, let alone Atali! Not really seeing a downside, I nodded in agreement. They both smirked at me in a way that let me know they'd have been astonished if I'd suggested otherwise.

 

***

 

I was on Wingmaiden Island for a week and three days before we had a sort of final battle that drove the raiders off for good. I was naturally the Hero of the battle, using Hookfang to destroy most of their ships. The only problem was that one of the ships managed to shoot me off my dragon. The arrow was dipped in a substance that was intended to render me unconscious, and had I fallen into the ocean, I probably would have drowned. Luckily, Hookfang caught me before that could happen. Unfortunately, I was allergic to the substance – unless it was also intended to make the area where the arrow grazed me swell up to the point that the whole arm became useless. Not to mention _painful_!

Minden gave me what she was fairly sure was the right antidote, slathered healing ointment on my wound, and then wrapped my arm up. Even though the place I had been shot was honestly just a small graze on my right bicep, it was so swollen and painful that I had to have my arm put in a sling so that I didn't move it more than I absolutely had to. Hopefully, it would heal in a couple of day.

On the other hand, it could be poison. In which case, I might be dead in a couple of days. Either way, I really wanted to go home. Gothi may be a mad old witch of a woman, but I'd feel a lot better if she took a look at it. With that in mind, I said my goodbyes and flew off.

“Remember, you'll be welcome here for a short visit anytime!” Both Atali and Minden called after me.

“I will!” I called out, not entirely sure if I was being honest. Without a specific reason to visit them, it was sort of a long trip and not one I would probably make more than once every year or two.

When I was well away from the Island and all on my own, I talked out loud to myself without even realizing it. “I should _really_ make a point of telling Fishlegs that he doesn't have to worry about me going off and looking for a woman to permanently replace him. As fun as they can be once in a blue moon, they don't have the right equipment!”

As I muttered to myself about how good it felt to have Fishlegs inside me, I leaned over Hookfang's head and fell asleep.

 

***

 

“Snotlout!” I heard my name exclaimed in dismay by all my friends.

“Hookfang, bring him to Gothi!” Hiccup ordered. I could feel that I was still on my dragon, and so they must have come flying out to welcome me back home.

Time seemed to pass strangely. It seemed like there was silence for at least a hundred years, and then I heard more voices.

“I think she said he has an infection. She needs him to drink medicine.”

I think I groaned as they forced something down my throat, but then I felt... peaceful.

“She says he's resting now.”

“Hookfang must have flown nonstop from Wingmaiden Island!”

“He's going to get better, right?” Fishlegs asked anxiously.

There was a long pause. Gothi was mute, so she was probably gesturing to them.

“Oh...”

And then there was silence again.

I have no idea how long it was before I woke up, but I felt both refreshed and _starving_! With a groan, I sat up in my bed and looked around to see if anyone had thought to bring me food in case I woke up. But there was nothing. On the plus side, Hookfang was laying on the hearth stones Meatlug usually slept on. His head was resting on the bed, watching me through sleepy eyes.

“Glad you didn't set my bed on fire!” I told him in amusement. “So... where is everyone?”

I could see sun coming in through the window, so it was probably the middle of the day and they were all just busy doing their daily duties. Even so, I had to admit that I was disappointed that _none_ of them had come to stay with me in case I woke up. Or at the very least, left food for me to eat.

Hookfang sort of whimpered and turned his head to stare in the direction of the harbor. His eyes looked vague and unfocused. He tilted his head as if listening for something. This sent a chill up my spine.

“Is everything okay?” I asked him even though he couldn't exactly answer me. Slowly, my body aching, I got out of bed. Thankfully, aside from the fierce aching, I seemed to be as good as new. A bandage on my arm covered what was probably the healing graze wound, but my arm was no longer swollen and feeling like it was on fire. It still hurt more than I liked if I moved it a lot, so I pulled the sling on over my neck and tucked my arm in it.

“Come on boy, let's go find some food.”

Hookfang followed me outside the hut, and then held still so that I could mount him. We flew toward the Great Hall. It wasn't long before I saw a lot of people on dragons flying around... defending Berk from a fleet of dragon trappers – men who earned a living capturing dragons and selling them to people who used them to destroy things. Such as villages like ours. It was also probably well known by now that Berk was home to a _lot_ of dragons.

I immediately flew out to join in the battle, careful to avoid all nets and other traps. These were definitely not the same men who'd been trying to raid the Wingmaidens. For one, these were clearly trappers, and for two, there's no way they'd have had time to sail all the way here. Not unless I'd been asleep for more than a month, but I highly doubt that.

The battle lasted longer than I thought it would with the trappers putting up a good fight, but eventually, we defenders of Berk drove them away. I followed my friends back toward the center of the village where everyone was gathering. Now that they weren't so very focused on the battle, my friends noticed me.

“Snotlout!” The twins cried out, having no problems smothering me in a hug.

“I have to admit, we were getting a little worried,” Astrid said as she patted me on the shoulder.

“That was some stunt you pulled!” My father berated me. “Leaving me behind! You probably wouldn't have gotten shot if you'd had me there to watch your back!”

“Dad!” I cried out defensively. “I had Minden watching my back and the only reason the arrow _grazed_ me was that I was dodging a spear coming at me from the left and I couldn't completely dodge both. I'd have been fine with nothing more than a scratch had they not poisoned it or something!”

“Even so, I could have made sure that neither reached you!” My dad argued, taking a deep breath before launching into the _many_ ways he could have helped and reasons I was stupid for leaving him behind.

At this point, Fishlegs returned from whichever part of the Island he was defending and growled at me. “What are you doing out of bed?!”

“I woke up _starving_ ,” I informed him, basically ignoring my father's rant. “So I went looking for food and found a battle.”

“You shouldn't have been fighting already! You shouldn't even be out of bed!” Fishlegs protested.

“I'll admit that I feel a bit tired, but I need food before I'll even _consider_ going back to bed!” I insisted.

“Then come home with me, son,” my dad stated, putting an arm around my shoulders and trying to guide me to his house. I struggled to pull free from his tight grip. “You can sit in your old bed while I bring you something to eat, and then, when you're rested, we can talk about you finally getting married and giving me grandchildren.”

This gave me an extra incentive to break free from his grasp. “No thank you, dad! I'd rather eat something in the Great Hall and then go back to _my_ home.”

“But it's time you grew up and started acting like a man!”

I was beyond frustrated at this point and decided that I might actually have an easier time getting something to eat if I left the Island and hunted for rabbit or something on one of the nearby uninhabited islands. Or actually, I could catch a few fish and cook them up in no time at all. Just as I went to mount my dragon, I heard something that made a shiver run up my spine.

“Snotlout Jorgenson! Don't you _dare_ try to leave while you're still recuperating!” Fishlegs roared, actually surprising everyone because it was not like him to be that assertive.

I stopped and turned to look at him. “But I'm _starving_ ,” I whined, purposely trying to sound like someone they should all take pity on.

“I was making stew in the Great Hall before we were attacked, and it should be more than ready to eat by now,” Fishlegs said, pointing emphatically at the Great Hall.

I considered rebelling just to be a brat, but I really was too hungry to do anything other than eat as soon as possible. “Alright Fishlegs, if you say so.” This also probably surprised people because it wasn't like me to do what anyone told me to without at least arguing about it.

I walked a bit stiffly toward the Great Hall, still feeling achy and rather sore. My father was watching me with clear concern in his eyes. So were my friends, which was actually nice because they too often treated me as annoying and I liked knowing that they worried about me too.

As I passed Fishlegs, he seemed to lose all control, throwing his arms around me and holding me tight. “For three days, I thought I was going to lose you!” He wailed.

I chuckled wryly as I patted him on the back with the hand of my uninjured arm. “I won't die that easily!”

But this didn't calm him in the slightest. “I didn't know what to do! I _can't_ lose you! I don't think I'd survive it!”

“Hey,” I murmured in a soothing voice. “Everything is alright. I'm fine. There's no reason to blubber, and I'd really appreciate if you'd let go of me so that I can eat.”

Fishlegs was shaking his head stubbornly. “I'm never letting go of you again!”

I laughed. “The only way that's possible is if you marry me, and even then, I'm going to need to have _some_ time to myself.”

Fishlegs pulled back just enough so that he could look me in the eyes so that I could see how serious he was. “Then that's what we're doing,” he stated, and I've never seen him look more determined. Everyone in the village was gathered around us at this point and had inhaled a gasp of astonishment. There was a deafening silence as no one dared breathe in case they missed my response.

I took a deep breath in to steady my nerves. “Alright, I guess that's what we're doing.”

Elated, Fishlegs demanded a kiss so possessive that I went utterly weak in the knees and had to cling to him. I was very dimly aware of everyone roaring incredulously. It took probably a good solid minute before my father managed to shake us apart.

“Son! This is not a good idea!” He cried out before proceeding to tell me exactly why.

I held my hand up and nearly covered his mouth to stop him. “I don't care what you think, dad, I'm marrying him, and the more you protest, the sooner I'm going to do it!”

“But!”

I turned my attention back to Fishlegs, who was still holding my hand. “How does tonight sound to you?”

“How about right now?” Fishlegs countered, gesturing to Hiccup. “The Chief is standing right there and I'm sure he's got nothing better to do for the next five minutes.”

“It doesn't even take that long,” Hiccup said with a shrug. “Basically, if you really want to do this without arranging to celebrate and honor any of the family traditions, all it really takes is for the two of you to declare your intent to be married before me and at least two witnesses, and I declare it official.”

“Alright then, I Fishlegs Ingerman hereby declare that I intend to be married to Snotlout Jorgenson for the rest of my life.”

“I Snotlout Jorgenson hereby declare that I intend to be married to Fishlegs Ingerman for the rest of my life.”

“The rest of your life? Really?” Hiccup asked in surprise. “You two think you'll last _that_ long?”

We both nodded at him.

“Well, alright then, I Hiccup Haddock – Chief of Berk – hereby declare you officially married.”

Fishlegs kissed me again, which made me happy. Even so, I pulled back and gave him a serious look.

“There, we're married now! But I'm warning you that if you don't let me get something to eat this instant, I'm going to murder you in cold blood!”

Fishlegs laughed. “I had a feeling you might say that! Come on!” Holding my hand, he dragged me toward the Great Hall, politely pushing people out of his way as necessary.

It seems like my father had gotten over his temporary shock because he was now shouting after us again. “Oi! But what about my grandchildren?!”

This made Fishlegs stop abruptly. “Wingmaidens?” He asked me curiously.

“Wingmaidens,” I confirmed with a nod.

He nodded in return. “Heather.”

I looked back at my father. “Don't worry about grandchildren, dad! It seems we might have that part covered already.”

Confused, my dad scratched his head and didn't say another word as we made our escape and I _finally_ got something to eat. I practically drank the stew from my bowl as the villagers softly discussed whether or not they should come over and offer us well wishes and congratulations – or wait for me to finish eating first.

That said, the moment I was done gulping down my second bowl, I grabbed Fishlegs' hand and smirked at him. “We have something very important to do right about now.”

Catching on, Fishlegs grinned at me. “Right!”

And before anyone could think to stop us, we ran off, mounted our dragons, and flew home – everyone calling out well wishes as they realized that we were leaving. Soon enough, we were at home and in bed. Fishlegs simply holding me for a long time. To my dismay, I fell asleep, feeling better than I had since I'd left Berk. Finally, I knew _exactly_ where I belonged.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, first of all, for those that believe in monogamy no matter what, I apologize. I sincerely hope that one will take into consideration that this entire story is set in a time in which Vikings (married or not) had a reputation of pillaging and plundering and raping - thus they weren't 100 percent monogamous as a society. Also, these were two men who wanted to have children with no magical potions to let them do so, thus they would have *had* to use women as carriers.  
> Second of all, historically, marriage laws in a lot of places really were simple, so while the way I portrayed it may or may not be accurate, I actually have no idea if Vikings of the time would have allowed for gay marriage. I've read conflicting information. That said, I'm pretty sure that they've found graves from the general era that contained two men, which would indicate committed partnership if not actual marriage, so I hope that my taking the stance that gay marriage was accepted in Berk is not too out of the realm of believability.  
> Lastly, Hiccup is the Chief of Berk at the time they got married and I'd like to think that even if it wasn't usually allowed, he would make an exception for his friends :-)


End file.
